Kenyans Don't Talk to Each Other

I'm waiting for a vehicle to town, and standing with me are a couple of other people I always meet with, here-every morning; that they have now become familiar faces.  I can tell who wears which perfume, who got a new hand bag; suit, who will always wait for a cheaper vehicle, who does this or that...but, despite our acquitance, we have never talked. Not even a 'Hi, good morning, you are smart, nice suit, you look good...'

I've become a regular client to a certain vehicle.  I do know the driver quite well.  If he isn't tuned to Hot 96, it has to be Classic 105.  However witty Mwalimu King'ang'i may be, no body laughs aloud, just a chuckle.  When the conductor wants your transport, he just looks at you, or taps you...no talking.  In case of change, he'll shout 'CHANGE', and a hand shots up-no words.

I sit on a two seater for a few seconds, and silently pray that the person who takes the other seat will be good looking enough, smell okay, maybe a 'potential'.  I wonder why make such a prayer request, when we won't talk.  Funny enough, we will alight at the same stage and take the same pathway home, maybe enter the same building, and despite all these similarities, we will never exchange a word.

The queue is too long, and it takes hours to get into the bus.  After spending a whole two hours with someone, you still can't tell who is infront or behind you.  We all look like zombies, or sheep, or cows being dragged into the slaughter house.  To change the mood, someone passes out.  Still, no talking.  Everyone gathers around, then start to talk all at once, talking to noone in particular...

The students, though still in school-for a learning experience, are the worst culprits.  They will sit next to you, crane their neck in to your notes, signal you to pass over the 'Mwakenya', and after the class, storm out.  Never to be heard of again.  Others will always pick a seat next to you, call it a crush or whatever you wish...at other times, pretend to be booking a seat for a friend, then wave it off  by, "s/he probably won't be coming", and give it to you, that's all.   

Next thing you know is that you are becoming bored of keeping to yourself, and start Facebooking, requesting friendships to people you never met and will probably never meet, when next to you, is someone who would love to know you.

At times I just wish that we all all mute...

                                                             -MJN -

Never wanna grow up

When I was young, I would always day dream of being an adult

Now that I am one, I always wish that I had forever remained a child


Adults always lie, and for those who don't, they can't resist cheating

Say they are on the way when the taking a nap,
Say they love you to only sleep with you,
Say that you are the only one when they are actually messing around

They never say thank you, after all, they worked for it,
They never do please when they can forcingly take it away,
Never mention sorry for they can't stoop

Adults never tell the truth, they will bombard you with lies in the name of protecting you

You can't be friends with an adult, they are there to take advantage ot you, gossip with you and later on, go around gossiping about you

An adult is either too ashamed for what they got, proud of what they don't have or, lie about how they got what they have.

That why I won't be growing up any time soon

                                                                           -MJN

Why she's different from you

They say that a good marriageable wife can only be got in the village.  City girls can never be a good mother, faithful wife or even a submissive partner.
Look at the city girls, they will go to party all night long and live their husbands in a cold bed,  look for a surrogate mother so as not to put on weight or disfigure their shape and develop stretch marks.  If pregnant, they can't give birth naturally, but will go for Cesarean section under lots of anstethia.

You can never know the colour of a city girl, or her natural beauty-smell, hair, nails, physique...she is an artificially manufactured female.  With her face full of layers and layerscof brown powder/paint; bleached body that is neither brown, pink, white or rainbow; lips screaming red like she is a dracula from sucking blood; padded breasts, hips; horses' hair on her head and a strong and expensive pungent smell from Dubai that sends all around her sneezing.

A city girl has no personality, no dignity, no idiocrasy.  She will always hang out with three to six other women, show up with 'her girls' in a date, sleep around with any man who can send her cell phone credit, pay her bus fare, or take her out to a movie.  A bottle of beer, chips and  chicken on  a Friday evening will make her spend the entire weekend in a foreign bed.  Come Monday, she will pretend to have never met you...unless you got more money to take her out for lunch with a bunchful of her friends.
Country women have a more natural beauty.  They will catch your eye when she is metres away, wearing a 'leso' and a torn oversized t-shirt, carrying firewood on her head, or a container of water while barefooted.  How then do you think she would look when she is all cleaned up and oiled up with a thick petroleum jelly?

Marrying a country girl has more gurantees...she know how to love, treat a man, and keep him.  Never nagging, never flirting...and now they say, can't be a gold digger.  That one, I don't agree with...  A country girl will only man who can take care of her, protect her, provide for her, and give her class.  That's why she will only show interest in men from the chief's family, the son who has been to University,

Country women may be seen alone and having fun anyways, or surrounded by friends. Whether those friends are other females or males, if you have recognized the woman to be a country woman, then they are safe. Just play it carefully,

Country women are not afraid to get dirty. Dirty, means dirty...whichever meaning you accord it.

City girls will live on and for the television, and try to emulate those soap opera women, but will get mad when you watch football.  She won't cook as long as there is a restraunt or pizza inn by the courner, and can't hit gym to keep fit, she will go on a diet, pills, creams or surgery to remove the extra fat.